Pearls - Circa 2003-4.

My email inbox was recently accessed without my authorisation. As such, I am in the process of transferring all the emails I want to keep to my HD. I then intend to investigate other options.

It was interesting to read over the dusty emails. Below, I will share a few sentences that stood out. Do not judge me! I was young and naive. And single.

"Dave looks like a monkey, but for some reason I still think he's hot... I need to get over the Foo Fighters and stay on topic for more than three words. "

"If he's after some sort of casual arrangement, then maybe we can set him up with Big Foot and Small Dick and they can have a lovely threesome."

"This guy that I am chatting to turns out to be 18. And not that hot. There goes that. He met me by chatting to himself. Interesting. I said that maybe I'm just a figment of his imagination. Now I am his Inner Woman. Weirdest conversation I've had in a while!"

"Anyway, the reason that I wrote was because I need to share something that made me giggle. I'm sitting in the common room surrounded by 5 guys!!! I'm a little outnumbered, but it's kinda funny because when I came over and sat down they all looked at me, then they looked at each other and grinned. Then one of them said a little too loudly "Man, she's first rate"!!!! lol. Funny stuff. This jacket was so worth the $99!"

"Okay, Cute Guy isn't cute anymore. Only one half of his face is."

"He has a 'UniGear' bag though, which kinda makes me suspect that he's a dumb arse - like he needs his bag to tell him where to put his uni gear."

"I told him that he really has a way with the ladies, his maturity is astounding and that he should call me when he sprouts his first pubic hair."

"I'm in the common room as usual. I have finally realised why it's called the common room. There are no stunners here BECAUSE ALL THE GUYS ARE COMMON. Why did I not realise this sooner?"

"We need to start a band. Seriously. You look cool behind a set of drums. Seriously. And I'll learn more bass. Seriously."

"I think that guy that I met on the net that is ACTUALLY IN THE COMMON ROOM - He keeps looking at me. I'm almost certain that its him. Damn me and my bloody pink jacket and socks! He knows I have a pink jacket and pink socks. Faeces, etc. How embarrassing! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk! I'm burying my head in paper just so that he doesn't see me again."